Blog : Through the Looking Glass

356 posts
3/11/2022 8:23 pm

Through the Looking Glass

Kat had become restless thinking about the days that had recently passed, each one exactly the same, blending without contrast one into the other. Time had passed in much the same way, the seconds stretching into minutes and the minutes into hours. It was almost as if time had ground to a halt since the day she and Sariel had said goodbye to one another, the white rose petals falling from heaven like her tears. Since then life had lost all colour and meaning - and she found herself wandering aimlessly upon the rainbow path that had once stretched before her with such hope and promise.

The day was grey and cold, matching her mood perfectly - and the rain that had begun as a light drizzle in the early hours of a Saturday morning now continued into the afternoon with no signs of letting up. If anything, it had become steadily worse Kat noted wryly as she wrapped her sweater more tightly about her before walking over to curl up in the cozy window seat just off the master bedroom.

Watching the rain fall was something Kat had loved to do ever since she was small. It was a love passed down through the generations from a grandmother to a mother - and then from a mother to the youngest of her 4 daughters, the one whom she had named her “blue eyed dreamer.’ Indeed it wasn’t uncommon for her Dad to come home from work in the evenings to find the two of them curled up together, huddled by the large picture window in the family living room, talking and laughing as Kat regaled her mother with the fantastic stories she had invented.

Kat smiled to herself, remembering those times with a touch of nostalgia. A comforting warmth wafted up from the steaming cup of chai she held in her hand, enveloping her completely - just like a hug from Mom. The soothing aroma took her back to a time when she was young and carefree - unbound by the pressures and commitments of life. A time when she had felt so protected - and so loved … wholly, unconditionally and without expectation. If only she could return to those days again she thought wistfully - if only.

She turned towards the window once more, completely mesmerized by the falling rain. The steady downpour soothed her senses, lulling her gently with its rhythm until she felt her eyelids grow heavy. The drops trickled in broken, jagged lines down the glass - as though in a race to reach the bottom where they would melt into a large pool of water that had collected there.

Kat let out a sigh, gazing with sadness at her reflection in the murky glass. How many days now since she had first begun to feel lost in a life that was no longer her own? They had become far too many to count. Lately it seemed as though everything around her had fallen out of place - the synchronicity was missing and her life felt like a mismatched piece in a broken puzzle. The crushing weight of sorrow pressed down upon her - and she bowed her head, a single tear escaping from beneath the fan of her dark lashes. One day she would have to learn to embrace the pain … for only then could she ever begin to let it go.

The rain began to fall harder outside her window now and Kat could feel a dark lethargy begin to creep in. The urge to surrender was completely overwhelming and she found herself gradually letting go, giving in to the dark currents that were pulling her under. She let her head fall gently until it came to rest against the soft cushions beside her.

With the last bit of strength she possessed, Kat tried hard to shake the strange feeling of drug induced sleep that threatened to engulf her - but she knew she was fighting a losing battle and the soft whisper of the raindrops brought the painful memories rushing back once more. From the darkest corners of her mind she could hear his voice speaking to her like a gentle wind caressing her cheek, taking her gradually down below the surface of sleep … mein aapko zindagee bhar pyaar karthi rahungi … mein aapko zindagee bhar pyaar… mein aapko zinda … mein aapko … mein …

The very moment her eyes closed, the tea cup Kat had been holding fell to the floor, shattering into a thousand razor sharp pieces, each one reflecting her image in its delicate polished surface. Her breathing became deeper now, her body limp - and she could feel herself falling as if from a great height, into a deep and unnatural sleep. Falling, falling … like Alice down the rabbit hole.

From somewhere within the chaos of her thoughts and forming the backdrop to her dreams, the rain continued to fall - leading her back once again to the place where her heart would always remain … leading her back to Mumbai.

~~ Isabella

_Indigo 57F

264 posts
3/11/2022 8:32 pm

My heart still belongs to you Sariel.

starwomyn 70F