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I liked them both, but I had heard the second one before, and I think I liked the first one more. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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God needed a vacation but couldn’t decide where to go. An aide suggested Venus. “I don’t think so,” replied God, “I was there 10,000 years ago and I ended up with the worst case of sunburn ever!” “How about Jupiter?” “Nope. Too cold,” said God. “I was there 5,000 years ago and I nearly froze!” A third advisor suggested Earth. “You can’t be serious!” said God roared. “I was there 2,000 years ago and they’re still accusing me of getting some Jewish girl pregnant!” Abracadabra 
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I loved both of them and laughed and laughed   
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Star's comment is a hoot
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LOVE THE FIRST ONE.
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