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Re-Assessment of Relationships I like the attached article’s analysis of relationships in the modern world. Helps clarify things for those of us who may be confused by all of the recent changes. My analysis is that while it may word things differently we have the same choices we always have and still have to figure out and find the one that is best for us. Personally I like the throw a big party announcing and celebrating your love and status as a couple but leave the government out of it suggestion best. I have long felt this way. Commitment is a spiritual and emotional issue, not a legal issue. This really appeals to my non-political / keep the government out of my personal life attitude. In my spiritual practice I have seen an increasing number of couples opting for a commitment ceremony and celebration of their status as a couple. Marriage is a “package deal” that covers so many legal issues. It is surprisingly easy to take care of matters such as health care proxy, joint ownership of property, paternity, inheritance etc. with other legal documents that can be tailored to meet individual needs and preferences and far easier to dissolve or modify as needs change. Most of these are legal documents are also recommended for married couples. In my personal case even if I wanted to marry (which I don’t) marriage would create a change in IRS status that would be costly while having nothing to do with any emotional or commitment status or the way I live my life. Why would I pay the government to lock me into a situation that would be difficult and costly to change or end? Re-Assessing Monogamy By Krishna Bill With cheating scandals and multiple-partner relationships constantly in the headlines, are we perhaps outgrowing the bonds of traditional relationships? Is monogamy a thing of the past? We asked our psychics how they felt about the many changes facing relationships, and got some excellent answers… Jesse extXXXX says: “The only way to survive these changes is to be open, honest and loving to the one you really love. In order for a marriage to last, it had better consist of two very secure people. It is highly unlikely that, in these lightening fast days, anyone could reasonably imagine dining at the same restaurant for years upon years and eating the same meal. It wouldn’t mean you didn’t enjoy the dish, but you would find yourself curious and then longing for a completely different dine. Sex is simply a different hunger. “It is, in my opinion, possible to have a monogamous, long-term relationship. However, it will fall into the upper 20% if you make it all the way through life without anyone having a ‘break.’ Just because someone has wandered into a lustful liaison doesn’t mean it has to end the marriage. It does, however, mean that there must be new guidelines created if the marriage is to survive. “I suggest that the vast majority of people who fall in love and want to get married should instead have a ridiculously expensive party involving a wonderful cake, lots of food and a killer dress. They should celebrate with their nearest and dearest. They should joyously announce that they love one another and for this time of their lives, they are a couple. They should be given gifts and congratulations. Then, everyone goes home and when the couple parts (as, according to the latest statistics more than 60% will) there is no legal anything to cause hatred and pain. Leave the government out of the mix and everyone comes out a winner. This way, expectations are not unreasonable, in fact, they would be honest and clear.” Kim ext. XXXX says: “Monogamous relationships are tradition in crisis. One might think that monogamy has outgrown its value, but since much of the behavior that has replaced traditional relationships is often of an addictive nature, one might be able to conclude that perhaps it is people that have outgrown these values in an unhealthy direction. According to some experts in the recovery community sex addiction has reached epidemic levels. In my opinion, when women try to pretend they are free spirits and very open sexually, usually their emotional state of being deteriorates into some form of low self worth. “Personally as a psychic reader I see a lot of painful relationships and much of that pain is caused by promiscuous behaviors. When I see happy marriages I notice an energy field of connection, a bond between the couple that stays strong and healthy because of traditional values and monogamy. When couples stray outside the marriage sexually, I can see a weakening in their energy field, a weakening similar to those with addiction issues. “Occasionally, I come across a situation where one might be married to one person and in love with someone else. Not every marriage is a perfect choice to begin with and sometimes meeting someone else even while married need not be a violation to the soul; it pretty much relates to quality of intentions. It helps when a couple, especially if they have , find the most loving way to deal with the life circumstances and make decisions that are wise instead of just indulgent. Monogamy is the most desired choice because no one seems pleased when they find out that their partner is intimate with another person. Traditional family values seem to raise better . In today’s world it is a choice. I chose love for many but bond monogamously with one.” Rowan ext. XXXX says: “Monogamy itself has become more of a choice than ever. Not a requirement, but a choice made between you and your beloved. If you and your partner want to give an open relationship a shot, here are some basic guidelines: 1. Get solid consent from each other. 2. Decide whether it is an open relationship where both partners are in the know about other people, or if other people are not discussed. 3. Decide the parameters of the open-relationship: Is sex OK? Just kissing? Just dates? 4. Check in about that solid consent once a month. 5. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. 6. Know when/if it is time to stop. “While it may work for some to experience healthy, non-monogamous relationships, for many, this simply won’t do. We may like the idea, but it just plain hurts too much to imagine your beloved intimately wrapped in the arms of another. If you’re questioning monogamy, maybe it’s time to question the relationship itself. Don’t be afraid if you haven’t found a partner that lasts forever. Relationships are changing, and we are learning to navigate the emotional waters of love and self-love as best we can. Relationships are as varied as flowers in a garden and each will unfold exactly how it’s meant to. The key is to open the rose of your heart and speak your truth.” Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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I think it really depends on the couple and what their relationship dymanics are. I personally feel in my relationship with Mac it was all or nothing. Neither of us had planned on a relationship and had both been single over 12 yrs. He was a widower and I was divorced. I knew that "commitment" alone would not do since Chato is from the old school and it's either all or nothing. I feel in our case without the marriage vows there would not have been a complete and total commitment. When you marry someone you are saying you are in it for the long haul. For Richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Not just until things get uncomfortable for either of us. Again..ALL or NOTHING. It's not just a legal commitment but one that says I am here for you no matter what. It's understandable how legal matters and finances can factor into many couples choices to marry. I'm sure there are many that are in agreement with both sides of this issue. Bruja The wealth of a soul is measured by how much it can feel; its poverty by how little. W. R. Inge
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8/16/2011 7:11 pm |
sorry, call me old fashioned, but it's all or nothing with me. There is only one thing standing between nobama and Marxist tyranny: We, the People!!
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8/16/2011 8:11 pm |
I think most people in our age range concur with you. Spiritwoman ^i^
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8/17/2011 10:24 am |
You are so fortunate to have been able to make a major life decision based on what you want without complications. It has never been that way for me. Seems that my life has always had complications in every aspect but perhaps balancing them is the lesson I need to learn from this lifetime. Spiritwoman ^i^
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