| Blogs > spiritwoman45 > Life in the Canyon |
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Holding Back My personal study for today was about not holding back. Interesting for me to contemplate, as I am known by family and friends as the one who does not hold back and the one who maybe should. When I worked for others I was always being reminded of the need for restraint. Since childhood most of my doctors have suggested, few even insisted, on medication to slow me down, as my body is often not able to handle what my brain and emotions throws its way. Deeper contemplation needed here. Being humans we all hold back on something. By the time we reach our senior years many hold back more and more. Why? Likely because experience has produced negative consequences and / or significant pain which we chose to avoid more of. This seems to be the case for me. I visualize it as being contained by a cement block wall. What do I hold back? Probably emotional commitment. I do commit to many things – family, relationships, pets, projects, my friends, my work and business to a greater extent than most. I make promises easily and always follow through. None the less there seems to be a level of emotion that is held back even from myself. I am not totally convinced that this is a negative thing. Those close to me would be not able to handle that intensity any better then I can. Not holding back would likely make my life worse rather than better. More contemplation needed. What do you hold back? Is this a positive or negative? Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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I agree with LovelyLady. I have been told I can come across as "Cold". Bruja The wealth of a soul is measured by how much it can feel; its poverty by how little. W. R. Inge
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Holding back is sometimes sign of prudence, I guess.  Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.(Khalil Gibran)
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8/30/2011 9:42 pm |
I have several 'sayings' posted around my office to remind me of my place (very insignificant) in this incredible universe. The first says "The moment we are born, we start to die." The second, "You cannot imagine anything stranger than the truth." The third "Time relativity depends on which side of the locked bathroom door you're on." Another - "The older I get, the fewer things I find worth standing in line for." And finally...the one I constantly remind myself...day after day, sometimes hour after hour: "This, too, shall pass." At my age, there are very, very few things I take personally any more. Life, what is left of it to me, is simply too short to waste in bickering and arguing. Just because you have silenced a man does not mean you have changed his mind.
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8/31/2011 9:00 am |
Hi Spirit: Since my marriage ended eight years ago I have basically given up on people in general and have become a real loner. Every time I try make any effort to be friendly to someone, they manage to hurt my feelings or disappoint me with their selfishness. If its a man, he starts leering at me in a s*xual way and asking me very personal questions about s*x or how much money I have. If its a woman, she hogs the entire conversation yakking on and on about her family who I don't even know, and I don't have a chance to get a word in edgewise. I hate being alone but just don't want to be hurt anymore.
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I find this site has increased my ability to "hold back" or rather "hold my tongue". I've learned to type in my responses but to refrain from hitting the "POST" button. So in answer to your question, it is a positive as it keeps me from looking bullish, arrogant, or just plain stupid. ROFL But then again, it could be a negative as some of the "bullish" posters may take my silence as a sign of approval? Hmmm, not sure if I should push the "POST" button or not. Oh what the heck...
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