| Blogs > spiritwoman45 > Life in the Canyon |
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Why Even Think of Going Back? Did anyone else read the add on here about relationship re-wind? Being a natural curious George (or in my case Georgette) I am always reading all sorts of things. Having spent years in a day job working with human issues these sort of things always get my attention. I followed the link to an extremely lengthy narrative about rekindling relationships after a break up. The “attention getter” ended with another link to buy an expensive product. As I scanned through the info I was amazed by the amount of work that is involved in their program. It started to sound like I could get a college degree easier. I didn’t read through to see what they charged for all of this but am sure it is not inexpensive. All this just to be back in a relationship that didn’t work in the first place. I am not sure how most people approach break ups but when I am done I am done. I don’t commit easily (that is another issue for me) but when I do I hang in through the difficult times and honor that commitment as long as I can. When I finally reach the point that things are done they are done. I am gone and there is no going back. When I am the dumpee why would I want to go through all that expense and work to be with someone who had hurt me already so would likely do so again? If things don’t work, they don’t work. Sounds like throwing good money after bad to me. After a break up, no matter how it happens I always took a breather and focused on me - enjoying things I liked, doing things with old friends and making new ones, moving on to new adventures. To me that was a much better use of my material resources and energy. Hummmmm If I were one who was able to take advantage of others I could let “bad ” out and I could be living in a Malibu mansion with all sorts of cool toys. Nice thought but I’d rather continue living my modest life in peace and harmony. “Do no intentional harm to another” Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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Spirit: I'm with you. When someone has hurt me or lied to me I move on and it's as if they never existed. Sound cold - maybe but life is too short to allow one to hurt you more than once. I would never put desires or wants above my morals and values. In the end I have to be able to live with myself. I would much rather have a man with integrity than all the riches in the world. I was lucky enough to have just that in my late husband Mac. Bruja The wealth of a soul is measured by how much it can feel; its poverty by how little. W. R. Inge
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4/7/2012 7:20 pm |
Oh yes, we have all had those - "what part of no don't they understand?" Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/7/2012 7:21 pm |
Thank you - Lessons learned the hard way by a stubborn strong minded survivor! Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/7/2012 7:25 pm |
Good point about the insecure folks. I have a friend who clings to one disastrous relationship after another becasue she feels she has to have someone and does not feel someone else will be interested. Her brother and I try to get her to see the guys for what they are but it's like trying to reason with a teenager! Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/7/2012 7:25 pm |
probably a couple of million for the house. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/7/2012 7:29 pm |
Spirit: I'm with you. When someone has hurt me or lied to me I move on and it's as if they never existed. Sound cold - maybe but life is too short to allow one to hurt you more than once. I would never put desires or wants above my morals and values. In the end I have to be able to live with myself. I would much rather have a man with integrity than all the riches in the world. I was lucky enough to have just that in my late husband Mac. Bruja So glad you were fortunate to have experienced a man so perfect for you. I was one of the fortunate ones with my late husband. Even though it was only for a time we can treasure that as so many never find it. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/8/2012 2:09 am |
Hi Spirit: When I look at my past relationships and marriages, I see that it took me about ten years to get over each one and move on. That's a lot of wasted years of retrospection and trying to get over a relationship, but I can't seem to help it. Each time I was a wreck and didn't want to look at another man. When something ends it's devastating to me. My second marriage ended nine years ago so hopefully this misery I feel over losing my husband will end sometime soon.
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4/8/2012 10:22 am |
Hi Spirit: When I look at my past relationships and marriages, I see that it took me about ten years to get over each one and move on. That's a lot of wasted years of retrospection and trying to get over a relationship, but I can't seem to help it. Each time I was a wreck and didn't want to look at another man. When something ends it's devastating to me. My second marriage ended nine years ago so hopefully this misery I feel over losing my husband will end sometime soon. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/8/2012 10:25 am |
Sounds healthy to me. We MUST be happy with ourselves first or nothing or no one will be able to make us happy. Of course family has to come first. That was always one of my screening tools for a potential partner. If they don't accept my strong family bond they won't be the right one for me anyway. Hope you and yours have a good Easter. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/8/2012 10:26 am |
Definitely makes things easier and better. Spiritwoman ^i^
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