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ME 'N' CAT AGAIN...Part 5. And it’s with this bit of information and an urgency of need that I presents meself at the entrance of the Battersea Dogs Home. I had asked Teddy Bolster to come with me, needing his expertise, but he has to go to the market for a fill of buns, sausages and onions, as befits a man who owns his own business. So here I am, walking with Albert, a man of some bearing, seeing as how he wears this hat with ‘Head Dog- Warden’ written on it. We are walking through the yard and into the compound, me heart all set on taking home a pretty little dog. “It must be heaven to you, seeing as you have a love for dogs and working here.” says I in a cheerful way… “I mean, what more a man want in life.” Well, Albert gives me this funny look, more a sort of grimace. “I hate the little beggars!” he says in reply. “M.C.M…. That’s what they are!” “M.C.M.?” I queries. “Mobile ‘Crap’ Machines.” splurts out Albert, the grimace more pronounced. Funny, aint it, when you gets to thinking, how a man can stay in a job he hates. All I gets to considering is that Albert must be well-paid, to stick at it as he does. “We have all kinds of dogs here.” says Albert, as we walk down the aisle…And I can just about hear his words because from every cage on either side of us is a yelping dog, crying out to be taken home. There’s big dogs, little dogs, pretty dogs and ugly dogs, it’s really hard to choose what to look at and I feels me heart-strings playing a sad melody as I see the eyes of the dogs, all-appealing in their knowledge I’m there to choose one of them. “What’s in there?” I asks, as we pass a steel door which has a big lock, with a small ‘Peep-Hole’ at head height. “We are not sure exactly what it is.” explains Albert, holding out a warning arm as I goes to look through the ‘Peep-Hole’. “It’s some mad animal.” goes on Albert, in explanation, his voice going all strange and ghostly, which fair gives me the creeps. His eyebrows vanishes upwards, beneath his hat as he continues… “Some say it’s a wild ‘Missing-Link’, half Tiger and half Tasmanian ‘She-Devil’.” Now, as you good people know, there’s times when me curiosity overcomes me cowardice, cause I can now hear low moans and growls which are coming from beyond the steel door and, in me curiosity, I steps forward, to put me eye to the ‘Peep-hole’. “Stand back!” Albert exclaims, though a bit late as me eye peers through the little hole and I blink… For, staring back at me is a large yellow eye… Which blinks, in time to me own blinking. Then I hears this blood-curdling scream and knows only Cat can sound like that when he’s in a fit of happiness. “Cat!” I cries out… “Is that you?” Me question brought out a series of screaming ‘Cat-Calls’, along with banging and ‘-Rapping’ against the inside of the door. “Open the door!” I demands, ascertain it is me Cat as is locked inside the room, though my demands are met with a look of ‘Terrification’ from Albert, who is now hiding, having locked himself in with a Bloodhound, who is covering poor Albert’s face with kissing-licks. “Here!” There is no way Albert is coming out from the cage, instead, he throws a bunch of keys at me. “Open the door yourself!” he finishes. Gingerly, I unlocks the steel door and opens it, just wide enough to get an eye through the gap, peeping in and holding the door, just in case the need is to slam it shut, in case it aint Cat but some fearsome beast. What I sees is a sight as almost as fearsome as the sight of Norman Bates, with a large knife and about to open the shower-curtain in the film ‘Psycho.’… Is it Cat or not? What I sees is this animal, what has a Mohican haircut, its hair all gelled up and alive with bright coloured streaks. It’s got fur which looks like it’s a Tiger that has been dragged through a thorny bush, all torn and in black and yellow-striped disarray. It has one yellow eye, which is rolling round in it head like a Mexican ‘Jumping-Bean’, while the other eye is huge and staring straight ahead, as if in a perpetual state of shock! Well, I can mention the word…’Recoil’ but that aint the word as I jump back in sheer horror, me hand loosening on the door as I stumble back, with the wild animal taking a flying leap and landing on top of me. Me mouth opens, to emit a scream, when me sense of smell acclimatises itself to a stink which arouses the me ‘Memory-Banks’… I know that smell!... It’s me Cat! So there we is, me ‘n’ Cat, rolling over on the floor, in a fit of wild excitement, while Albert is underneath the Bloodhound and getting a serious face-wash. “I’m taking me Cat home!” shouts I to Albert and, with Cat under me arm, I dashes off down the aisle, with Cat screaming at the top of its voice and the dogs on either side, all of them... ‘Barking-Mad’! Well, I’m off down the road and, mounting me bike, I sticks Cat in the hood of me anorak and I’m pedalling like a monkey with worms, diving in and out of traffic, with Cat now standing up and with his arms strapped round me neck, hanging on for all his worth… And I don’t stop till I gets home and with Cat all safe and sound. |
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6/21/2010 1:29 am |
Goodness me.....Cat will need some tender care to get over this bad experience.
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poor Cat sounds like something that was dug up from 'Pet Sematary"... but he's alive and, well, happy to be back in your arms!! it's fate ~
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6/18/2010 10:07 am |
Hi Ron, You must be quite lovable really, Cat was so delighted to see you, and he never forgot you either!!!! Its so funny, the story.
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