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OUR CHANGING SOOCIAL STRUCTURE Alfie's blog about Suet Dumplings got me thinking about an old friend and about how the popular DNA tests are forcing people to tell the truth about their ancestry......That and the changing mores of our society...... born out of wedlock were considered bastards when we came along.... |
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My mother used to get suet from a specialty shop up the street. The butcher catered to Europeans...... The owner had his name up in neon......He was a spiffy dresser and had a little moustache and smoked cigars. He and his wife belonged to many social clubs and were the stars of the local DeMolay chapter. He never bought a car......instead, he leased a brand new Cadillac every year. He was quite the lady's man and would always tip his fedora, wink and hand out his card......... He had 2 sons a couple of years apart who were the spitting image of him. I went to school with the older one and we were good friends through school and then dated ....in High-school his dad let him borrow his Cadillac convertible to take me out.......My father called his father a "dandy" and laughed at his pretentions. I remained friends with the son who would phone me whenever he was in the area and we would meet. The last time we met, he was very upset. His father, who had held a substantial inheritance over his head his whole life, had died broke.....in fact, had always lived beyond his means......But the hardest part for my friend was that his father told him in his will that he was adopted....... Both he and his brother were adopted....There was no way he wasn't his father's son......He looked like a clone of his father....as did his brother.....But that's all the will said.....They were adopted.....I was so angry at that man, I wanted to go dig him up and give him a good talking to...... Apparently that was how it was done back in the day.......keeping secrets....I had another friend whose older sister, who raised him, told him when he was 40, that she was actually his mother......Another friend, who had been told all his life that his and his brothers' father was dead, found out his uncle Louis was his father....
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For sure, times are achangin'...… some good and some not so good. It's hard to imagine that the man would have lied in his will, but is it possible that they were his bastard children and he and his wife adopted them? How cruel of him, and cowardly! It wasn't uncommon in those days either, for the parents to claim the child of an unwed daughter, and she be very active in the upbringing of the child. It just seems strange to wait so late in life to reveal that, but again, not surprising considering the shame and stigma attached to unwed mothers. Today, to some young women, having a baby out of wedlock is not only ok... it's a badge of honor and a way to get subsidized by the government. Personal responsibility is no longer taught in some families..... and where is the responsibility of the fathers? Sadly our government agencies have been known to encourage that lifestyle. I know that from personal knowledge. When I was seeking grants or loans to go to nurse's training, a lady I know who worked for such an agency and had a father who was a school counselor was helping me do some research. Even though we had 7 children, because we had no huge outstanding expenses, we qualified for nothing. She and her dad both suggested that my husband change his address to his parents, and I say we are separated and then the government would pay for my tuition, food stamps, travel, and pay me minimum wage while I was in class. Our integrity would not allow us to cheat like that, so I obtained a student loan and worked evenings and weekends while in school. Hmmm, I seemed to be chasing rabbits and getting off topic. LOL. But you are so right, things have changed a lot in our lifetime. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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For sure, times are achangin'...… some good and some not so good. It's hard to imagine that the man would have lied in his will, but is it possible that they were his bastard children and he and his wife adopted them? How cruel of him, and cowardly! It wasn't uncommon in those days either, for the parents to claim the child of an unwed daughter, and she be very active in the upbringing of the child. It just seems strange to wait so late in life to reveal that, but again, not surprising considering the shame and stigma attached to unwed mothers. Today, to some young women, having a baby out of wedlock is not only ok... it's a badge of honor and a way to get subsidized by the government. Personal responsibility is no longer taught in some families..... and where is the responsibility of the fathers? Sadly our government agencies have been known to encourage that lifestyle. I know that from personal knowledge. When I was seeking grants or loans to go to nurse's training, a lady I know who worked for such an agency and had a father who was a school counselor was helping me do some research. Even though we had 7 children, because we had no huge outstanding expenses, we qualified for nothing. She and her dad both suggested that my husband change his address to his parents, and I say we are separated and then the government would pay for my tuition, food stamps, travel, and pay me minimum wage while I was in class. Our integrity would not allow us to cheat like that, so I obtained a student loan and worked evenings and weekends while in school. Hmmm, I seemed to be chasing rabbits and getting off topic. LOL. But you are so right, things have changed a lot in our lifetime. When my friend told me about his father's death and the will, I suggested that his parents may have hired a woman to bear his children and pretended they were the parents.....They arrived in that town when the younger brother was still a baby. My friend's response to my suggestion was to shake his head......he was very angry at his father for lying to him...... Of course there are people who take advantage of the system....Nowadays, deadbeat dads are pursued and forced to provide child support.....4o years ago, the mothers had all the responsibility. I had an online conversation recently with a man our age who was blaming single mothers for the need for subsidized, quality child-care.....He got very angry when I told him that children and parents need affordable, quality childcare.....not just single mothers.
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I do genealogy and nothing surprises me anymore. Wrong side of the sheet activities have been going on for hundreds of years. We recently found out that my paternal uncle does not share the same biological father as my father. 47 percent Irish with a German LEGAL father. He is actually a few years younger than I am. We grew up together climbing the hills in the desert, sliding down cliffs and jumping off barn roofs. We converted an old chicken coop into a club house. It was the Lassie Forest Ranger Club. Later my Uncle grew up and became a forest ranger. I was recently texting him about it. His attitude was that he turned out okay and you can't change history by reading a book. I told him that my son, my sister and her child, my niece and he may not have been born under political correct circumstance but all grew up to be high achievers. He pointed out that I was also a Lassie Forest Ranger. Yeah, but rest assured my work experience as an exotic dancer didn't go on my resume for Wal-Mart. Love is unconditional.
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I know of many children who were raised by their grandmother instead of their birth mother, it was a very common practice in Ireland. They were the lucky ones at least they remained in the family. The majority of those babies ended up in orphanages. Some were adopted into good families , others not so lucky. There is an investigation going on here into the Mother and Baby Homes . The Commission of Investigation has found that 9,000 children died in 18 institutions investigated.
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Yes.....The development of Agriculture caused the Human population to skyrocket. Partly because of the availability of Carbohydtates from grains......When we were Hunter/Gatherers, a woman rarely got pregnant while she was still nursing an infant.....
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I know of many children who were raised by their grandmother instead of their birth mother, it was a very common practice in Ireland. They were the lucky ones at least they remained in the family. The majority of those babies ended up in orphanages. Some were adopted into good families , others not so lucky. There is an investigation going on here into the Mother and Baby Homes . The Commission of Investigation has found that 9,000 children died in 18 institutions investigated.
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