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Lil' Johnny Part two 7/2/2006
He replies "Oh mom, that's too bad you lost it!
Well I'm goin out for awhile." Mom feels pretty
good about how she handled the situation and that it was
most likly behind her now. Two weeks later, as mom is in the
kitchen makin supper, she hears lil John runnin up the
street callin her. "Mommy, Mommy , Mommy"
As she meets him at the back door, she sees a very proud look
on his face as ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
6 Votes
,5.93 Score
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Another Lil' Johnny Joke 7/2/2006
One afternoon lil Johnny walks into the bathroom where
his mother is taking her shower. She is some what startled
when he pulls the curtain back to say hello! He points between
her legs and asks "what's that mommy?"
Still in shock and now embarrased to boot, the only safe
thing she can come up with for an answer is "my sponge"
True to a lil boys form he says" wow that's a nice
one mom! ...
1 Comments, 77 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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D Sharp Cup 5/27/2006
First of all I didn't mean to start a fight or offend
anyone in my comment that most men prefer B cups over D cups.
Notice I avoided C cups which I and I think most men and hollywood
believe is the optimum. I suppose saying B cups are preferable
to D cups may offend those women with D cups, especially
if they have bought them. But I was merely trying to make
what I believed to be a ...
1 Comments, 149 Views,
41 Votes
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Webs Cams and Guys 3/31/2006
What is it about webcams and guys
What could they possible want to see
My Hazel Green Eyes - My Bright Shiny Smile
Laughter, Intellegences - My tealight candles and magickal
crystals. The Historical Church outside my window, tiny
little dragons, geocaching bugs, Voyager Cards, Ferlin
the Mutt. Certainly they don't want to see me me me me
me me and my double ddddddddddddddddd's Naw! ...
3 Comments, 131 Views,
20 Votes
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2006-01-07
An intelligence report on the Life helicopter ambush assault
led by Major JKH54 : In the Cloverdale area of British Columbia
Canada near the local insane asylum :
Agent 54 along with him dome, Hobson's choice, belle
la donna and east mountains assaulted an American chopper
in the Cloverdale area . Although under orders not to introduce
violence in any manner Major JKH54 made an immediate field
decision in personally assassinating 2 life flight attendants
along with the pilot and door gunner for what he described
as acts of treason.
They continued their mission as dome safely landed the
chopper near the waiting attendants at the insane asylum
. Hobson's choice along with belle la donna under orders
went into the insane asylum with Major JKH 54 where the Emperor
doctor pigen was guarded by 12 elite pigens. The elite 12
were immediately KIA by 2 m-60 machine gun's used by
belle and Hobson and a model 1921 Thompson wielded by Major
54 . Hobson and belle guarded the door of the operating room
blazing away with their m-60's as reinforcement infantry
trolls arrived . Major 54 held a 45 automatic up to the surgeons
head and forced the surgeon to operate on the horrified
doctor pigeon without anesthesia . The transplant operation
was a success and now the Emperor doctor pigeon has a brand
new set of baby squirrel testicles . Major 54 then assassinated
the American surgeon for what he described as an act of treason
.
Shooting their way out of the insane asylum taking out more
than 50 more trolls on the way they found east mountain's
and dome blazing away from the m-60's in the hello door
gunner positions while being assaulted by infantry trolls
. The team of five then atempted to leave the asylum lifting
off with dome at the controls and Major 54 taking over on
the unmanned m-60 with east mountains never letting off
firing her m-60 . Hobson and belle were firing with their
handheld m-60's as well .
They escape doing heavy damage on the enemy . Although Major
54 was ordered not to engage in battle unless of course it
was necessary in defense of their lives and or of course
unless the enemy refused to surrender . Over 300 pigeons
and an undetermined amount of the infantry trolls lives
were lost in this raid . Dome deemed it necessary to make
three more passes before he maneuvered out of range under
heavy fire . The team of five arrived home very weary . They
were also drunk and were all naked with no casualties. Sassy
was supposed to have been on this mission but was interrogating
prisoners . General Kassr was leading a diversionary defensive
on our own ground successfully . The new commander in chief
newday seemed to be pleased and will be issuing citations
to the team of five and will overlook their alleged drunkness
and nudity.
As submitted to General Hollywood52
Commanding officer, Army Intel.the
That is all .
Report filed by JKH54 1/7/06
Comments, Views,
Votes
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Letter Sent To Guy Who Stood Me Up 11/1/2005
It has happened to me more times than I like to admit. My date
doesn’t show or even bothers to call. The first time that
happened, I sat on the floor and cried for about two hours.
<br>
It is dubious that a conservative military veteran and
a freespirited astrologer can make a love connections.
Nevertheless, we both love nature. A hiking buddy with
benefits ...
0 Comments, 124 Views,
11 Votes
,1.11 Score
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keeping it simple.. 9/21/2005
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply
pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto.
The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.
<br>
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables
by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
<br>
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet
seat by simply using ...
0 Comments, 160 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
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Tying the Knot 8/6/2005
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are
all
>excited about their decision to get married. They
go for a stroll to
>discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore.
Jacob suggests
>they go in.
> > Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are
you the
>owner?" > > The pharmacist answers, "Yes." > > Jacob: "We're ...
1 Comments, 145 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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Signs that you've grown up! 12/5/2004
SIGNS THAT YOU'VE GROWN UP:
<br>
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke
any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
40 Votes
,6.67 Score
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Jokes from the Goodsoul51 Laughs 15 11/1/2004
PEST CONTROL
<br>
A woman was having a passionate affair with an
inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon
they were carrying on in the bedroom
together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
"Quick, " said the woman to her lover, "
into the
closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.
<br>
The husband, however, became suspicious and ...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
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